2022, a recap

As cliche as it is, I have been long wanting to write again so lets start with 2022 recap, shall we?

We had covid, we progressed from pandemic to endemic, economy started to heal and then recess again, people need to re-adapt to the normal life we used to have before Covid hit the world. Things changed a lot no matter how we deny or reluctant to accept it. I got a job and quit a job, went to Egypt during Ramadan, which was amazing (not regretting every single penny spent, might write a blogpost regarding this jaulah), secured a job of my preference, moving out from my comfort place & people. Rejecting and also got rejected. New surrounding and reality. Things changed a lot and life has always been like that. Changes supposed to grow us. 

I met my murobbi and she asked, how long have you been in tarbiah? *I seriously dont like to be asked this question, haha* ... Its approaching 10 years. "TEN YEARS?" "What have you achieved during this 10 years, what have you learnt?" she asked again. I cant utter an answer for that.. not because  tarbiah havent changed me, but along the way, I guessed I stopped it from changing me. There are still sides of me, that I don't want to let go. My ego & desires. I feel ashamed that after 10 years I still struggle with kind of petty things. But a muslim who aspire to enter heaven must not give up and need to stand up tall and try again! For you a thousands time over, remember? The lessons from 2022, surely not  a waste. 2023, lets bring it on. To an honest abid dan khalifah to Allah, to a dutiful daughter to her parents, to a concern sister to her siblings and relatives, to a caring and loving naqibah and ukhti to her mutarabbi and akhowats, to a hardworking employee and qudwah to her colleagues. May seketul Nadhirah here be a beneficial human being to the people around her wherever she goes and hopefully to inspire them to be a better muslim. Attaching myself to a greater cause so I stop indulging with petty things. Moga Allah membenarkan niat ini. 

"Sometimes the way to rid yourself of its ego and of its empty desires, its petty desires, is to attach to a cause that is greater than it and when you attach it to a cause that is greater than it then you find yourself too busy thinking about greater things and in touch with serving the people to sit there and live out your animalistic desires all the time. It leads you to something else, it softens your heart." 

Dari Amirul Mukminin Umar Al-Khattab r.a katanya: " Aku mendengar Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda : - "Bahawasanya amalan-amalan itu adalah (bergantung) kepada niat, dan bahawasanya bagi setiap manusia itu apa (balasan) yang diniatkannya. Maka barangsiapa yang berhijrah kepada Allah dan RasulNya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah kepada Allah dan RasulNya. Dan barangsiapa yang berhijrah kerana dunia yang ingin ia memperolehinya atau kerana seorang perempuan yang ingin ia dinikahinya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah atas apa yang ia berhijrah kerananya."

(Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim)

Niat adalah pemula kepada sesebuah amal. Justeru, langkah bermula ini sangat penting untuk dibetulkan sebelum amalnya sia-sia. Resetting niat for 2023. Untuk Allah apa sahaja.

Mesir, 2022

Eyvallah!

Ramadan Reflections; Day 4

One of the series that I followed this Ramadan is Judgement Day by Dr Omar Suleiman. Last year's series by him was good too, Angels series. For this year topic he shares about good deeds and how they would benefit us once we died. 

Surah Al-Qariah: 6-7

فَأَمَّا مَن ثَقُلَتْ مَوَازِينُهُ 

Then as for one whose scales are heavy [with good deeds]

فَهُوَ فِي عِيشَةٍ رَّاضِيَةٍ

He will be in a pleasant life.

The deeds that will be our companion and our shades in the hereafter. We will be really in need of them deeds. Never look down on how small the deeds are. Because in the end Allah yang measure amal-amal kita tu. Aku tengok Ustaz Salam, Ustaz Halim dah tua-tua semangat nak buat recording setiap malam nak cakap tentang Ramadhan dan Al Quran. Makcik pakcik yang dah tua bersungguh-sungguh stay terawih sampai 20 rakaat. Sana sini orang masak nak sedekah. Tilawah AlQuran, tadabur, pegi tajmik, bermanis muka, menahan lidah... Semua jenis kebaikan yang ada. Dan peliklah kalau hati kita tak rasa nak bersungguh-sungguh juga mengejar kebaikan2 yang ada. Only if we knew how needy we are later :( Bila tengok gambaran2 hari kiamat yang Dr Omar cerita huhu, sangat takut.. Apa je amal yang kita dah buat? Kalau dah buat dah cukup ikhlas ke? Lets inspire each other, this is a month full of blessings. Segala peluang untuk beramal, rebutlah, tamaklah. Mungkin itu yang akan jadi penyelamat kita nanti. 

وَسَارِعُوۡۤا اِلٰى مَغۡفِرَةٍ مِّنۡ رَّبِّكُمۡ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرۡضُهَا السَّمٰوٰتُ وَالۡاَرۡضُۙ اُعِدَّتۡ لِلۡمُتَّقِيۡنَۙ ‏﴿3:133﴾

And hasten to the forgiveness of your Lord and to a Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the God-fearing (3:133)

HASTEN TO THE FORGIVENESS! 

HASTEN TO THE PARADISE!

HAYYA! 

Maryam & Siddiqah pun nak bersegera berinfaq ni acik-acik, ayuh! 

Ramadan Reflections; Day 3

Otw Surau depan rumah dengan Abah 

Sebelum balik kampung semalam, had a conversation dengan beberapa ukhti ni. We were talking about pengeluaran duit KWSP & financial. Suddenly this one ukhti said, "awak nak kumpul duit banyak-banyak buat apa, kita ni akan mati je jugak nanti." Which made me dumbstruck and had a long thought throughout the journey home haha. I mean its not wrong to be rich and have savings, but for what purpose? Is it so we feel secure? But does actually the money give you such secureness? Is it so we can buy all the things we want, we can live a lavish lifestyle as what rich people has been potrayed in social media? Is it so we can get such title? Why is it actually? It's so easy for us to fall into the trap of dunya. 

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوٰتِ مِنَ النِّسَاۤءِ وَالْبَنِيْنَ وَالْقَنَاطِيْرِ الْمُقَنْطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالْاَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ۗ ذٰلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيٰوةِ الدُّنْيَا ۗوَاللّٰهُ عِنْدَهٗ حُسْنُ الْمَاٰبِ
"Dijadikan terasa indah dalam pandangan manusia cinta terhadap apa yang diinginkan, berupa perempuan-perempuan, anak-anak, harta benda yang bertumpuk dalam bentuk emas dan perak, kuda pilihan, hewan ternak dan sawah ladang. Itulah kesenangan hidup di dunia, dan di sisi Allah-lah tempat kembali yang baik." 3:14

Dunia ini memang sifatnya mengiurkan, buat kita rasa kalau kita ada harta yang banyak, ada pasangan yang sempurna, ada kereta mewah, ada rumah ianya indah dan wah bestnya. Pernah tak kita tengok life kawan-kawan kita yang macam dah stable a bit dan kita start risau dengan keadaan diri kita yang kayaknya nggak ada apa-apa sih? I do feel like this sometimes. Ada je perasaan kagum dan nak kehidupan seperti itu T.T. Did you know that Allah also acknowledge the feelings? Look what He's going to say in the next verse......

"Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Mahukah supaya aku khabarkan kepada kamu akan yang lebih baik daripada semuanya itu? Iaitu bagi orang-orang yang bertaqwa disediakan di sisi Tuhan mereka beberapa Syurga, yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai, mereka kekal di dalamnya. Disediakan juga pasangan-pasangan/ isteri-isteri yang suci bersih, serta (beroleh pula) keredaan dari Allah". Dan (ingatlah), Allah sentiasa Melihat akan hamba-hambaNya;" 3:15

ADA YANG LEBIH BAIK DARIPADA SEMUA ITU GUYS T.T

SYURGA

SYURGA

SYURGA

Fuh, it hit me right away. Nak apa lagi Nadhirah? Dunia ini sekejapppp je. Kau kan nak mati syahid awal (amin tolong doakan ye teman-teman) Haih dapat pulak dengar sharing Ustaz Shaari tentang Tadabur Surah Al Anfal, serious siapa tak dengar lagi tolong la dengar. Best sangat! 

Teringat kisah-kisah sahabat seperti Abu Bakar yang kaya jiddan jiddan jiddan. Begitu juga Abdul Rahman b. Auf, Uthman b. Affan, Suhaib Ar Rumi dan banyaaakkkkk lagi. So its not wrong ya. Tapi dunia itu letaknya di tangan bukan di hati.  

Ok till then. 

Oh just thought to share this ss from my dear adik in UK, inilah kisah zaman ini, yang hidupnya terinspirasi dengan kehidupan sahabat. Yang hilang dari kita bukan hilang tapi kita hantarkan ke syurga dulu :) Jom bercita-citakan Syurga VVVVIP. 

Ramadan Reflections

Day 2 @ Mihrab Istanbul

 Its my last day at work! Alhamdulillah All is Khayr. Its also a first day tagging for my housemates as final poster. Its a first for Ukhti S as a mother. Its a first Ramadan for Ukhti H who’s currently at 3rd trimester. Its the 1st trimester for Ukhti F. Berbagai situasi yang Allah letakkan setiap kita dalam menghadapi Madrasah Ramadan tahun ini. Mungkin ada yang sangat kesempitan masa untuk pulun bertilawah, ada yang terlalu kepenatan untuk terawih, ada yang tak cukup tidur dek kerana si anak asyik terjaga, ada yg diuji dgn kelelahan mengandung. One thing I learn from each one of them, they are still going all out for Ramadhan. Ada yang tetap memberi taujihat ketika berpantang. Ada yang balik dari hospital pukul 10pm terus shoot ke masjid kejar terawih, ada yang bangun awal lebih awal daripada orang lain untuk tadabur sebelum ke hospital semula, ada yang dah siap prep paste untuk masak for the whole month supaya nanti tak buang masa banyak nak masak sebab nak focus ibadah. Hebat sangat. 

Al-Baqarah: 286

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرٗا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُۥ عَلَىٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ

“Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya. Ia mendapat pahala kebaikan yang diusahakannya, dan ia juga menanggung dosa kejahatan yang diusahakannya. (Mereka berdoa dengan berkata): "Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau mengirakan kami salah jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah…”

The fact that Allah still choose us to be in this holy month, it is the biggest sign of love from Him. Yes our situation can be a bit hectic & tight, but do not let this month go wasted. Allah tidak mengatakan yang habis khatam AlQuran itu yang terbaik, Allah tak cakap yang terawih 20 rakaat itu yang terbaik. Tapi yang Allah pandang adalah KETAQWAAN. Being conscious of Allah in every situation He put you through. How our heart & mind really want to connect to Him. Be so close to Allah this Ramadan despite of how hectic your life is, because if you have not found Allah during this month, it will be less likely for you to find Allah in the rest of the months. But yet, Rabbaniyyin not Ramadaniyyin. And if you ever want to be kiasu, this is where you can be kiasu as ever. Teringat taujihat Bunda Well, sahabat-sahabat kita ni adalah competitor kita, tengok dia all out patut buat kita nak lagi all out lillahitaala.

Al-Baqarah: 183

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ كُتِبَ عَلَيۡكُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِكُمۡ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَتَّقُونَ

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Kamu diwajibkan berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang yang dahulu daripada kamu, supaya kamu bertaqwa.

Moga Madrasah Ramadhan kalini ini menjadikan kita Graduan Taqwa yang itqan & ihsan lillahitaala.

Of a feeling & detachment

I cant believe Im gonna write something about this. 

Moving on...

From something that I held very dearly for years. Something that I've been keeping to myself and it took years for me to open up to my closed ones. Haha its funny, this feeling. I feel embarrassed writing this but I want to commemorate later in the future. I don't blame the feeling or the person whos causing this feeling. Its a blessing from Allah. 

I find it difficult to move on. God knows why. Alhamdulillah that I found Allah and tarbiyyah. It taught me how to channel this feeling that I have. How to not let it overcome me. But Allah the all knowing. He knows my biggest weakness and He kept on testing me to help me surpass the feeling. Sometimes no matter how hard I tried, the feeling overcame me. I lived in the memories as though I dont want to let it go. 

But I think, its time, its time to put an end to this. Maybe this is the thing that always hold me back. My attachment, this feeling. I need to detach. I need to let it go. And maybe this is a means of love from Allah.  At the moment I am very confident that I would get what I want, Allah shows the other way around. I did question, why Allah? Can't You just let it happen? Now? Yet again, HE IS THE ALL KNOWING. 

Maybe the person isnt the one, maybe its not time yet, maybe its you, that arent ready yet. One thing for sure. Its not your job to think about this. 

Soon we will enter the month of Zulhijjah. A month of sacrifice. Maybe this is the best time to sacrifice your feeling. Let it go and attach to Allah ONLY! And worry not my dear, if it meant to be it meant to be :)