Dear Fateh,

I may not fully understand of what you going through. I may not fully appreciate your worries and concerns. I may not fully give the support that you need. But all I can say is that I am amazed with your willingness and mujahadah to fight all the inner thoughts and self-doubt. 

I am hoping that one day, when you reminiscing this moment, you'll be able to say 'I am glad that I did it'

I am hoping that one day, when you scrolling through the pictures, you'll realise how much you've grown up..strong and stronger. 

When you had to go to Birmingham, Manchester or Glasgow, I felt so bad if I couldn't be there for you just to pat your shoulder and say its okay, you've done a great job. 

When I saw you fall asleep because you're too tired after spent the whole day there, I felt so touched. Only if the ummah knew.... 

When you ask 'kenapalah kita nak susah2 sgt eh', I know its a rhetoric question. You knew the answer, thats why you did it anyway even though you feel so drained out fighting with your own feelings. 

You have no idea how amazed I am listening to your stories about what's happening when you meet your adiks or about the journey itself.  

Dear Fateh, 

Out of many, He chose you to be here. Hence, be like the real Fateh. 

Either acceptance or rejection, learn to accept it with an open heart. Allah purposely arrange it that way.

22:78

My Fateh will grow up happy and stronger. Yosh \o/

Dunkirk 3/12/2017