Spring!

Spring means transformation! From wilt to beautiful flowers. From dead-like trees to shady trees. From frozen winter to sunny days (sometimes~) 

I love everything about spring! 

Spring is HOPE. 

Cuaca cantik sangat harini. Matahari singgah menyinari bumi Nottingham, bawa harapan dan kegirangan kepada semua. Lihat saja semua orang yang keluar ke taman, main dengan family, picnic, photoshoot, makan aiskrim, exercise, strolling dan lepak2 di kedai kopi. Riak semua orang tenang dan gembira, menikmati cuaca indah yang jarang2 didapati di sini. Amaze at how the weather can affect someone's mood.  Dulu aku tak pernah kisah cuaca nak macam mana pun. Mungkin sebab Malaysia punya musim yang seragam sepanjang tahun. Sangat hebat jelah kesan cuaca dalam hidup seseorang. Macam mana winter tu sangat berkait rapat dengan depression. Spring pulak sangat rapat dengan permulaan kehidupan yang baru. Bunga2 mula tumbuh mekar. Tumbuh dan hadir untuk memberi harapan, membawa kegembiraan dan paling tidak pun mengukir senyuman dibibir manusia yang melihatnya. Siapa sahaja yang tidak suka bunga. Cantik dan menenangkan.  

Bila melihatkan kanak2 seronok bermain, family meluangkan masa bersama terbit rasa rindu pada keluarga di Malaysia. Rindu juga pada akhawats yang sentiasa menjadi bunga2 dalam hidupku (acewah). Tapi sangat best jelah bila perasaan seronok bersama family dan kawan2 tu sustain sampai ke syurga. Taktahu nak bayang macam mana bestnya perasaan duduk dalam syurga dengan semua orang yang kita sayang, enjoying the scenery in heaven, picnic sesama, makan aiskrim.. Huu apa yang aku witness dekat dunia ni pun dah buat hati rasa mcm indah sangat. Apatah lagi dekat syurga en. 

Ilal jannati zumaro! 

Ya Allah, I want to have everyone I love in the heaven holding hands

InshaAllah. 

TCR, UP Campus, Notts  26/3/2017

Of lab and crap data

Just me ranting and complaining about how difficult project could be. Tbh, I'd love going to lab and preparing samples but when it comes to collecting data its like pain in the neck. The data can be good sometimes and crap & cray most of the time. I was like whyyyyyyyyy. I'm so tired. Seriously exhausted. This project thingy definitely testing my patience (I wasn't that sabr, tbh) But a massive respect to those phd students, they never give up and very optimistic. I'm more like pessimist I would say. I just cannot brain how they manage to survive bcs I barely surviving for the past 1 month! Lols. 

But thats not my point. Today I was excited bcs I know Im gonna get some data etc etc. Unfortunately, the excitement wasn't last long when the machine decided to crack today and so the software too! Its like a back to back menyampah-ness. HAHA. Seriously dude, why today. Cant you just wait till the weekend -,-

Its about 1130am and I was so tired. I decided to go to tearoom and have some food. And there goes my thoughts running and wandering reflecting of what had happened.

** Im so tired that I sleep while writing this seriously**

It hits me when Qisth asked, did you set any intention before going to lab? Indeed, niat, its like the most important basic thing you should do before doing anything. When your intention is wrong, everything gonna be wrong too. Even though it seems right. But when your intention is right, everything gonna be alright. By alright I mean, youre not gonna be disappointed or get angry when things going crap. Yeah its human to feel sad, but that will not affect your mood/day. You just sad but move on, try another one. Think of how to improve. It applies in every aspect of life. Keep your intentions only for the sake of Allah and Rasulullah. And He will always have your back! 

I am talking to myself. 

Boots science building, Nottingham  23/3/2017

Rants #3 ; Lost

I have been so lost.

I couldn't find my self confidence.

I couldn't find my strength.

I couldn't be proud of who I am.

In the middle of gaining the strength. 

In the middle of toping up self esteem.

Because..

I know Im valuable.

I know Im worth it.

But now all I can see are weaknesses. 

It breaks me down.

My heart just wanna scream out loud.

Hoping someone will understand.

No they didn't understand.

But then I realised..

I have Allah, 

No matter how I tried to make people understand

Allah will always be the most understanding of my problem

Of what I were looking for

Its a matter of how you're turning back to Him, everything

...

Spring is coming,
Chin Up!

Notts, UK 18/3/2017

Boosted!

That boosted and energised feeling after usrah session. 

Since usrah sekarang tgh implement no negative words or else 1 pound denda, sgt best bila everyone try to make things possible. Everything will be possible with positivity right?

Kita tahu kita buat sebab Allah. Cukuplah sakitnya hentaman Allah dalam surah Abasa. Malam ni je dah DUSH! Its time to get serious, bersungguh-sungguh (but not to forget to enjoy the moment)! 

Suka sgt sorg ukhti ni dengan penuh semangat menyakinkan kitorang yang dah mcm hilang semangat ni:

"Boleh je awak buat semua ni, yang penting confident and positive kena come first. Yang lain letak tepi. InshaAllah Allah tolong" 

Saja rasa excited nak menuliskan perasaan malam ni :D

Barakallahu fik Ukhti! 

D.

Dunkirk, Nottingham 9/1/2017 11:46PM

Of study and repentance

B, bagi kata-kata semangat sikit. Tak dapat2 momentum nak study. 

Tajdid niat! Do it for dakwah! Ihsan ihsan!

Hmm, still it doesn't work on me. Tak terasa boosted pun. Huhu

Kalau gitu, gi solat taubat.

Huh? Why?

Mungkin dosa2 kita yang telah menghalang kita untuk ihsan, do things for the sake of Him. 

Ouch, pedih sangat tu. 

Somehow its true. True enough that it hurts so much (in a good way for sure). 

Jika kita claim kita study sebab Allah, study sebab umat kenapa masih tak mengeluarkan seluruh tenaga dan upaya untuk buat yang terbaik. Kita bukan nak kejar dean's list tapi redha Allah. Mana lagi besar matlamatnya? Jadi kenapa masih tak bersungguh. Betul ke buat sebab Allah? Ke hanya kata-kata yang meniti di bibir manis mu? Solat lah taubat, mohon keampunan dariNya. Mengadulah kepadaNya. Semoga Dia mengangkat rasa2 berat di hati. Semoga dia melapangkan dada untuk menimba ilmu. Kalau kita nak buat sebab Dia takkan Dia taknak tolong? Kan? 

Enough is enough. Its time to all out. Stop indulging with your own world. Keep your aim big! Stay motivated because you always have Al Quran to keep you motivated. Aren't you? Find Allah the moment you think of giving up. Talk to Him and you will find peace. Give your very best.

عَنْ أَبِي يَعْلَى شَدَّاد ابْنِ أَوْسٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ عَنْ رَسُوْلِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: إِنَّ اللهَ كَتَبَ اْلإِحْسَانَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ، فَإِذَا قَتَلْتُمْ فَأَحْسِنُوا الْقِتْلَةَ وَإِذَا ذَبَحْتُمْ فَأَحْسِنُوا الذِّبْحَةَ وَلْيُحِدَّ أَحَدُكُمْ شَفْرَتَهُ وَلْيُرِحْ ذَبِيْحَتَهُ.[رواه مسلم]

Dari Abu Ya’la, Syaddad bin Aus radhiyallahu ‘anhu, dari Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam beliau bersabda: “Sesungguhnya Allah mewajibkan IHSAN (berlaku baik) pada segala hal, maka jika kamu membunuh hendaklah membunuh dengan cara yang baik dan jika kamu menyembelih maka sembelihlah dengan cara yang baik dan hendaklah menajamkan pisau dan memberi kelapangan bagi hewan yang disembelihnya”.[HR. Muslim]

Allah sukakan benda yang terbaik, remember? So be one! 

InshaALLAH. Yosh! 

D, 

Dunkirk, Nottingham 11:32 PM  5/1/2017