Spring!



Spring means transformation! From wilt to beautiful flowers. From dead-like trees to shady trees. From frozen winter to sunny days (sometimes~) 
I love everything about spring! 
Spring is HOPE. 

Cuaca cantik sangat harini. Matahari singgah menyinari bumi Nottingham, bawa harapan dan kegirangan kepada semua. Lihat saja semua orang yang keluar ke taman, main dengan family, picnic, photoshoot, makan aiskrim, exercise, strolling dan lepak2 di kedai kopi. Riak semua orang tenang dan gembira, menikmati cuaca indah yang jarang2 didapati di sini. Amaze at how the weather can affect someone's mood.  Dulu aku tak pernah kisah cuaca nak macam mana pun. Mungkin sebab Malaysia punya musim yang seragam sepanjang tahun. Sangat hebat jelah kesan cuaca dalam hidup seseorang. Macam mana winter tu sangat berkait rapat dengan depression. Spring pulak sangat rapat dengan permulaan kehidupan yang baru. Bunga2 mula tumbuh mekar. Tumbuh dan hadir untuk memberi harapan, membawa kegembiraan dan paling tidak pun mengukir senyuman dibibir manusia yang melihatnya. Siapa sahaja yang tidak suka bunga. Cantik dan menenangkan.  

Bila melihatkan kanak2 seronok bermain, family meluangkan masa bersama terbit rasa rindu pada keluarga di Malaysia. Rindu juga pada akhawats yang sentiasa menjadi bunga2 dalam hidupku (acewah). Tapi sangat best jelah bila perasaan seronok bersama family dan kawan2 tu sustain sampai ke syurga. Taktahu nak bayang macam mana bestnya perasaan duduk dalam syurga dengan semua orang yang kita sayang, enjoying the scenery in heaven, picnic sesama, makan aiskrim.. Huu apa yang aku witness dekat dunia ni pun dah buat hati rasa mcm indah sangat. Apatah lagi dekat syurga en. 


Ilal jannati zumaro! 
Ya Allah, I want to have everyone I love in the heaven holding hands
InshaAllah. 




TCR, UP Campus, Notts  26/3/2017




Of lab and crap data


Just me ranting and complaining about how difficult project could be. Tbh, I'd love going to lab and preparing samples but when it comes to collecting data its like pain in the neck. The data can be good sometimes and crap & cray most of the time. I was like whyyyyyyyyy. I'm so tired. Seriously exhausted. This project thingy definitely testing my patience (I wasn't that sabr, tbh) But a massive respect to those phd students, they never give up and very optimistic. I'm more like pessimist I would say. I just cannot brain how they manage to survive bcs I barely surviving for the past 1 month! Lols. 

But thats not my point. Today I was excited bcs I know Im gonna get some data etc etc. Unfortunately, the excitement wasn't last long when the machine decided to crack today and so the software too! Its like a back to back menyampah-ness. HAHA. Seriously dude, why today. Cant you just wait till the weekend -,-

Its about 1130am and I was so tired. I decided to go to tearoom and have some food. And there goes my thoughts running and wandering reflecting of what had happened.

** Im so tired that I sleep while writing this seriously**

It hits me when Qisth asked, did you set any intention before going to lab? Indeed, niat, its like the most important basic thing you should do before doing anything. When your intention is wrong, everything gonna be wrong too. Even though it seems right. But when your intention is right, everything gonna be alright. By alright I mean, youre not gonna be disappointed or get angry when things going crap. Yeah its human to feel sad, but that will not affect your mood/day. You just sad but move on, try another one. Think of how to improve. It applies in every aspect of life. Keep your intentions only for the sake of Allah and Rasulullah. And He will always have your back! 

I am talking to myself. 


Boots science building, Nottingham  23/3/2017

Rants #3 ; Lost

I have been so lost.

I couldn't find my self confidence.

I couldn't find my strength.

I couldn't be proud of who I am.

In the middle of gaining the strength. 

In the middle of toping up self esteem.

Because..

I know Im valuable.

I know Im worth it.

But now all I can see are weaknesses. 

It breaks me down.

My heart just wanna scream out loud.

Hoping someone will understand.

No they didn't understand.

But then I realised..

I have Allah, 

No matter how I tried to make people understand

Allah will always be the most understanding of my problem

Of what I were looking for

Its a matter of how you're turning back to Him, everything

...

Spring is coming,
Chin Up!


Notts, UK 18/3/2017