As cliche as it is, I have been long wanting to write again so lets start with 2022 recap, shall we?
We had covid, we progressed from pandemic to endemic, economy started to heal and then recess again, people need to re-adapt to the normal life we used to have before Covid hit the world. Things changed a lot no matter how we deny or reluctant to accept it. I got a job and quit a job, went to Egypt during Ramadan, which was amazing (not regretting every single penny spent, might write a blogpost regarding this jaulah), secured a job of my preference, moving out from my comfort place & people. Rejecting and also got rejected. New surrounding and reality. Things changed a lot and life has always been like that. Changes supposed to grow us.
I met my murobbi and she asked, how long have you been in tarbiah? *I seriously dont like to be asked this question, haha* ... Its approaching 10 years. "TEN YEARS?" "What have you achieved during this 10 years, what have you learnt?" she asked again. I cant utter an answer for that.. not because tarbiah havent changed me, but along the way, I guessed I stopped it from changing me. There are still sides of me, that I don't want to let go. My ego & desires. I feel ashamed that after 10 years I still struggle with kind of petty things. But a muslim who aspire to enter heaven must not give up and need to stand up tall and try again! For you a thousands time over, remember? The lessons from 2022, surely not a waste. 2023, lets bring it on. To an honest abid dan khalifah to Allah, to a dutiful daughter to her parents, to a concern sister to her siblings and relatives, to a caring and loving naqibah and ukhti to her mutarabbi and akhowats, to a hardworking employee and qudwah to her colleagues. May seketul Nadhirah here be a beneficial human being to the people around her wherever she goes and hopefully to inspire them to be a better muslim. Attaching myself to a greater cause so I stop indulging with petty things. Moga Allah membenarkan niat ini.
"Sometimes the way to rid yourself of its ego and of its empty desires, its petty desires, is to attach to a cause that is greater than it and when you attach it to a cause that is greater than it then you find yourself too busy thinking about greater things and in touch with serving the people to sit there and live out your animalistic desires all the time. It leads you to something else, it softens your heart."
Dari Amirul Mukminin Umar Al-Khattab r.a katanya: " Aku mendengar Rasulullah S.A.W. bersabda : - "Bahawasanya amalan-amalan itu adalah (bergantung) kepada niat, dan bahawasanya bagi setiap manusia itu apa (balasan) yang diniatkannya. Maka barangsiapa yang berhijrah kepada Allah dan RasulNya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah kepada Allah dan RasulNya. Dan barangsiapa yang berhijrah kerana dunia yang ingin ia memperolehinya atau kerana seorang perempuan yang ingin ia dinikahinya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah atas apa yang ia berhijrah kerananya."
(Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim)
Niat adalah pemula kepada sesebuah amal. Justeru, langkah bermula ini sangat penting untuk dibetulkan sebelum amalnya sia-sia. Resetting niat for 2023. Untuk Allah apa sahaja.
Mesir, 2022
Eyvallah!