Over a month now since I started work or basically my training as a pharmacist. It's tiring and I am struggling to balance the work life and being a good abid. Its not that Im separating them both like they are not related. Working is ibadah too but I feel like I am getting away from Allah. I hate it. I travel to work every morning struggling to get my eyes wide open when I recited the mathurat. I even brought some books to keep me occupied throughout the journey but they were left unopened most of the times. When I finished work, I already too drained and all I can think is sleep and the fact that I need to climb up the hill just to get home doesn't make me feel any good at the end of the day. Susahnyeee huhuhu. I am not complaining, this is the life that I chose with Allah wills. I just feel sad that I know I have lots to read be it buku fikrah and the BNF (British National Formularies). I have lots to think and brainstorm but with this little2 time that I have I'm stuck. Which to prioritise.
You know at the end of the day, all we want is Allah's pleasure. I don't want to be limited by my work, I want it to ease my DnT journey. Hebatnya para sahabat malah ada juga tokoh2 zaman sekarang yang boleh manage hal kerja dan dakwah tanpa perlu mengurangkan mana mana part. BALANCED. It requires a looooot of mujahadah dan sacrifices untuk capai tahap tu. Kalau senang je what life even means? Betul tak. Life is always a test. Masa student pun ada halangan dia, masa kerja pun. Ni baru single life. Belum lagi kahwin, anak etc (oh I can't even imagine myself able to juggle all that, at least not for now). Every phase in life is always a challenge. Every changes sometimes do tear us apart. As the famous quote says, falls down seven, stand up eight. If the intention is right, for Allah a thousand times over!!! Kutip semangat Abdullah b Huzafah yang jika beliau memiliki nyawa sebanyak bulu dibadan nescaya semuanya kan digunakan untuk jalan dakwah ini, maka gunalah segala daya yang ada utk menyumbang kepada jalan ini. Allah has never ever need you. Youre the one who is in absolute in need of Him! If you want something go for it. You don't wait till the right and perfect time comes. Betul tak?! Get up girl.