The scariest phase in life is yet to come. To face the reality that you're not a kid neither a teenager anymore. You're an adult who's going to manage your own electric and water bills, start thinking how do you wanna go to work, what kind of environment do you wanna work with, is the salary sufficient enough to support at least your basic needs but enable you to infaq as well. Most importantly, will you survive the transition year from being a student who just have to attend lectures and workshops to a full time worker who's going to listen and do whatever your employer ask you to do. Not mention the workloads yet. I don't know. Adulting is just so scary 😥. I mean, cmon am I ready for this?
Yesterday, I received an offer to work here in UK as a pre-reg pharmacy trainee. Tbh, few days before I talked to myself, "okaylah, I think its better to work in Malaysia". Thats when I think I have made my decision already because yelah since there's no offer coming in. But then, when I received the offer yesterday, I realised that I actually haven't made a rational decision. On what basis the decision was? I questioned myself.
Now that I have got the offer, I really need to make a sound decision in which both my heart and mind are pleased. Most importantly, it must be aligned with Allah's pleasure as well. There are so many 'what if' playing in my mind right now. I'm afraid that I'm going to be left alone here. I'm afraid I can't stand the stressfulness. I'm afraid I cannot work well with my colleagues. I'm afraid I can't give my best to DnT anymore (when now I'm actually struggling to give the best out of me 😰😰😰). That's how overthinking I am.
Ya Allah, I am so weak that I never know what the future holds for me. I am so weak that I really in need of your guidance in every step that I make. Guide me all the way to what is the best Ya Allah.
21/2/2018
Hamra', Notts
Hamra', Notts